"I haven’t been to the boardwalk since high school, and now I know what kept me away. I felt bewildered amongst the legions of tattooed frat-boys and tubby g-stringed girls. The fusion cuisine is some of the worst in the world (see final photo). Americans are now so universally fat that no one is ashamed to let it all hang loose. Yes, Jersey boardwalk culture is America at it’s worst: a circus of ethnically indistinguishable lard buckets chugging high-fructose corn syrup beverages at tail-gate parties out of their Hummers. Americans, welcome to your future."