Every so often, at work, we are given professional reviews and I like to express my contempt for the meaninglessness of the process to any relevant professional function with tart commentary. My contributions this year were as follows:
In response to a demand for critical information about my colleagues, I replied:"They are to staff meetings what Moses and the Hebrews were to the Sinai desert"
And of myself:" I put the 'I' in 'Team' "No one reads these forms and they have no discernable effect on one's career. Golden ratings will not save you if you screw-up and annoy the wrong bigwig nor will long established mediocrity even be accurately documented. What a waste of time.